Stuckism (0) 1 - (0) 0 - Conceptualism

Medway's only member of the literati thus far, the singer songwriter, poet, author and artist Billy Childish, once published an anthology of his poetry entitled "Chatham Town Welcomes Desperate Men." Well, possibly heeding that message, on a balmy Saturday afternoon at the Theatre of Slapstick, Chatham Town welcomed Terry Yorath and Neville Southall OBEs Margate FC for the final pre-season friendly of the campaign.



It was in truth a pretty tepid affair, much in part one would imagine due to players not wishing to pick up silly injuries or suspensions ahead of the new campaign. Some people had other ideas though, Steve Hafner for example, would have expected a straight red rather than an enforced substitution in a competitive fixture after a particularly reckless challenge that caused some uproar amongst Margate's small yet vocal travelling support.



The game had few chances and saw AOB make a few changes from the team that so comprehensively defeated Dagenham and Redbridge on Tuesday night, Michael Scott taking the place of Tommy Binks at right back, Brad Potter filling in for the absent Richard Avery, with Jim Lyons starting in the resultant midfield spot. Mark Green was tipped ahead of Tom Davey on left of the midfield, and Richard Stroud held on to the number one shirt after his second half appearance on Tuesday.

The game was something of a slow affair, with the apparent terrace apathy transferring itself to the pitch. Justin Ascheri terriered as a terrier does, and Matt Solly appeared solid at the centre of the park as always, and despite their pyramid seniority, Ryman Premier Margate looked perhaps the most threatening but without any real fire power to trouble what at times looked a slightly shaky paring of Potter and Payne at the back. Chatham's best chance fell to an unmarked Ascheri who's point blank shot was turned over well by Margate's massive keeper, and the Gate's best chance came when an umkarked Joe Healey headed wide when unmarked, his miss leaving him to berate himself with a word we will only refer to as the Clarkson/Brown word (or c-bomb for our American friends). The fact that this is even reportable says it all about what was a poor first half, and it was not a surprise to hear similarly course language coming from the home dressing room at half time.

AOB sent out the same eleven that finished the first half for the second period, and it was much business as before to be honest, until the introduction midway through the half of Ray "Razor" Powell for the tired Ascheri. The diminutive defender cum striker paired up well with Brendon Cass, who had again looked sharp but perhaps not best serviced by those around him earlier in the game, and the match picked up some appetite. Having earlier dismissed a strong penalty shout when Cass was felled in the area, the referee had no hesitation on seventy minutes in pointing to the spot for a similar challenge, and Brendon Cass showed his class to send the keeper the wrong way and bury it in the bottom corner.

Chatham pushed for a second, and Powell, who brought much needed aggression to the game was instrumental in a move that saw Jim Lyons this time sky the ball from six yards whilst unmarked, a typical second half highlight of a game that for most parts had flatlined on the excitement ECG.

Chatham kick off in the league next week away to Godalming Town, a side much improved since they were relegated at the TOSC a couple of years ago, and will need to hope that the Chatham defence is a solid at the books would suggest. We've conceded just twice in the six pre season games, and have scored 16. Without wishing to sound negative, there's part of me that doubts we've yet come across a decent front line, but if we can get Lee Barnett fit for the campaign, who knows, maybe we've got a Real Madrid season coming up. Time to see if its another season for Desperate Men.

Chatham line up; Stroud, Probets, Scott, Payne, Potter, Lyons, Solly, Green, Hafner, Cass, Ascheri (subs who got some action were Binks, Davey and Powell)

Highlights: Probably the guts and all performance for half an hour by Ray Powell. Wasn't overly excited by what I saw of him in defence the other night, but as a forward he is energetic, enthusiastic and committed to say the least. Doesn't look like a forward which must shock defences. Will get sent off at least four times this season.

Lowlights: None really, other than one of their players leaving in an ambulance after a freak fall. Hope he's ok.

In conclusion: Let's get on with the competitive games please. This was dullard.

Pointless fact: Sixteen years ago this month, Gate manager Terry Yorath lead Wales to their highest ever Fifa ranking (27th).

MOTM: Michael Scott. Had a great game. Which is a shame for Tommy Binks, as Binks had probably his best season at Chatham yet last term, but will do well to start at right back if Scott keeps showing this amount of natural talent and versatility - converted to attack very well after Green's injury.