Saturday 20 March 2010

Lidl's Vodka 1 - 3 Chuck Martini

This report is well, late, (four days so in fact), but the joys of parenting and a busy career in Social Housing have truly taken their toll this week.

Tuesday night saw Chatham, on the back of their first successive victories since October 2009, entertain play off hunting Godalming Town at TOSC. Godalming, a much much improved side and one of the suprise packages in the Ryman 1 South this term, came to Maidstone Road confident of a repeat of their opening day mauling of the Chats, an encounter which Chuck Martini's men (yes, that his real name) won 3-0.

Chatham started the game nervously, and were a deserved goal down on 27 mins when the impressively strong and fleet of foot number 11 Phil Williams held off challenges from an aggressive Ray Powell to fire a pin point accuract shot past Richard Stroud from an improbable angle. In a game that had offered little in the way of clear chances until that point, it was only ever going to be from such a piece of class that the scoreline altered, and the half petered out tersely, the only items of note being the substitution by Godalming of their keeper Gary Aulsberry for Rodney Chiweshe, who himself was carring an injury, and the almost immediate save by the replacement of a fierce and well struck Jack Pallen shot.

Into the second half, and Chatham came out of the blocks the stronger side. With no more than five second half minutes on the clock, the impressive Rob Denness held the ball up well in the box, and laid it off for Pallen, who's crisp drive was tipped wide by Chiweshe. On 55 minutes, Chatham were level thanks to a superlative strike from Denness with the left foot, the lanky frontman running onto a clever through ball, taking one touch and burying past the outstretched keeper into the far corner.

The momentum of the game was truly turning at this point, Chatham seemingly the better side, and a winner looking likely for the Medway side. Jack Pallen twice went close in the next ten minutes, before a Barnett-esque strike from distance by Denness was tipped over by the outstanding Chiweshe.

Then came the twist in this tale that wouldn't suprise any Chats fan this season. A hopeful punt by the Chiweshe (who had not kicked the ball with any comfort due to the knock he was carrying all game) eluded everyone in the Chatham rearguard, and was flicked through the defence to find Graeme Purdy, who buried it past the stranded Stroud.

Stroud, who'd not had much to do in the half could justifiably feel aggrieved by the yet again calamitous defending on show, but could not find fault with anyone but himself for the killer third which followed some ten minutes later. A cross into the box was caught by Stroud above a Godalming head, and immediately dropped. Stroud chased behind the big man, hoping to achieve who knows what other than a youth theatre pantomime re-enactment of a chase scene from a silent comedy (all that was missing was a clenched fist and a rolling pin),before the ball was pulled back across goal for Williams to bury it past the distraught defence. Chatham's confidence finally undone, the final ten minutes played out in a painfully lacklustre spirit, even Justin Ascheri's appearance from the bench doing nothing to dispell the painful truth that we are tactically incompetent and adrift of the depth of intelligence and tactical nous that makes winning teams.

We entertain high flying Fleet Town this afternoon. I might go.

Monday 15 March 2010

An apology...

of sorts... Sorry to AOB and Lew Watts for any offence caused. This blog (me) was a bit out of order, but I mitigate this with frustration that we are all feeling at results on the pitch (now improved) and a lack of communication regarding allegations of indiscipline at the club (still an issue - but not for the management, but the committee)

Two wins on the bounce for the first time since October suggesting things are improving, a bit. The 3-2 win at Ramsgate was by all accounts hard fought and deserved. Ramsgate have only won once in thirteen attempts...

Godalming at home tomorrow night. Let's end the season as we did last year. We can still do this. We can still better last year's performance.

Sunday 7 March 2010

Dr T and the Women... a review

I'm that disheartened with Chatham Town FC at the moment, that today's post is a review of a Richard Gere film, released in 2000.



For those of you not in the know, things seem to be going very awry at the Theatre of Slapstick Comedy. In fact, to paraphrase Malcolm Tucker, I feel like asking OB and Lew if they managed to get the piano into the ground without dropping it, things are so fast becoming like Laurel and Hardy.



This week saw a fifth league defeat on the bounce, 2-0 at home to Sittingbourne, in a game that marked Brendon Cass's last contribution to the red and black. It was announced on Friday that he'd gone to Folkestone, who had, according to Stan Laurel made him an offer to good to refuse. That to me implies cash - but all of us in the know are more than aware of the CVA that Folkestone are currently subject to, which sort of rules that out. The next day, Cass is on the sight, blaming the last two months.



There was the glimmer of hope, or maybe a two pence piece mistakenly thrown into a sewer by a blind man with a wish, in the form of a scrappy 2-1 win over Whyteleafe at TOSC on Saturday, a result that elevated the Chats back to 12th in the league. Perhaps its overly doom and gloom, but with rumours abound of some first teamers not training (in my opinion they're welcome to not train - they just shouldn't expect to get picked for a game, or get paid), the first team management not attending the reserves game despite a free afternoon the other week, and the departure of the experienced Tommy Osbourne to the toadrags at Thamesmead before he'd even played a game for us sums up everything that's wrong.

We started the year with so much promise. OB threatened a play off spot. He wanted promotion. But, in my opinion, too many players who epitomise Chatham Town have been left to walk out of the ground to be replaced by lesser players with bigger, uglier attitudes, and the club is not the same anymore. Plenty of people had been asking about on the pitch discipline problems before it got very ugly last month, when newbie John Wilfort landed a seven match ban for two incidents of violent conduct in concurrent games. Yes, we needed a replacement for Steve Best. But Bestie was hard midfielder with integrity. A hard streak in the team is essential. But when its completely disproportionate, its out of order. We've not got a reputation as a team of thugs. It needs to stop.

So, moving on... the centre piece of my weekend, wasn't Chatham vs Leafe, but a much forgotten and understandably maligned Richard Gere vehicle, Dr T and the Women, released in 2000.

The movie, directed by the late Robert Altman, has Gere in the understandably under used film role of gynaecologist. He's a troubled modern guy with a mentally ill wife, Farah Fawcett, who two children and twenty five years of marriage later, takes off all her clothes in a mall. Sectioned, or the US equivalent, it takes all of a month for him to fall for high foreheaded golf pro Helen Hunt, and then discover that his eldest daughter, soon to be wed Kate Hudson, is a lesbian. Then follows a scene in which Gere, managing to portray absolutely no emotion on his face that belies his lack of hair dye, drives headlong into a twister, and lands in Mexico for his shot at redemption. But redemption for what? The film itself? Gere could do with a slice of it. For a man who's made a career out of "acting", a quick look at his IMDB scores makes for a shock. I can't find a single film with him as lead that rates over 7/10. This is mediocrity only so far achieved at such a high salary by Sandra Bullock.

Its actually the worst film I've ever seen. There is no chance of emotional attachment, either positive or negative to any of the characters. In fact, given the chance to either punch or kiss any of them, I'd take neither, and go for a stroll around a dated shopping centre, preferring the promise of rubbish card shops and mobile phone stores to a moment in the company of any of them. Altman did some fine work apparently. This isn't it. This film is to cinema what a bad Coldplay album is to music. A total waste of all the genius and artistic development of the medium over decades. It could not have been worse even if it had Steve Guttenburg playing every role into a 90's Sharp Viewcam. Watch it and see what I mean, but don't say I didn't warn you.